The End

I didn’t think it’d end like this. I mean, not all relationships last forever, but I thought we had something special. He knew everything about me, I knew all his secrets. He was always there for me, when I was happy, sad or mad, I reached for him first. First thing in the morning, last thing at night. He even woke me up in the morning… And now he’s gone, on to someone else. I guess he couldn’t take being taken for granted any more. Couldn’t take being forgotten in odd places, left to starve till he passed out, of being used and abused… Maybe he got bored of my uninteresting life… of hearing the same boring stories, over and over, and over again. I don’t know why he left, but he couldn’t have picked a worse time… maybe he did this on purpose. He knew I can’t do without him, knew I can’t afford to replace him… Oh, but I will! I’ll show him! I’ll move on… maybe with one JUST like him. Older phones do cost less, after all….

Mowgli: Hair and Back Again

or Snarky Little Bastard 

Written for the Dove and Indiblogger 'My beautiful hair story' contest.

Little Mowgli, a rambunctious fellow,
Once made friends with a hairy sow;
Rolling in the muck, they’d cause a furor
And the animals all laughed at the human boar

Then came the time for his weekly bath
And Baloo the bear didn’t know where to start!
Mowgli, now, was a child close to his heart,
But he’d turned “dirty” into an art

Baloo decided to first tackle his head
And then the rest of the boy, ’ere he fled
Baloo lathered the shampoo and then he said,

“I’ll scrub you clean and give you some bread.”

But Mowgli, that wily little fellow,

At the top of his voice, he began to bellow
“NO!!!  I’d rather stay grimy, dirty and yellow!”
Till an idea struck him and he started to mellow

Then came the sow who was a telapath,
She helped Mowgli escape from Baloo’s wrath
They ran helter-skelter off the path,
And soon were in another mud bath.

Baloo, now really mad at the little airhead,
Decided to wash his own hair instead.
Now he’s got hair like silken thread,
Silky and strong, and not just on his head!

Mowgli returned, saw Baloo’s hair glow,
Turned impish and said, “Look like a marshmallow!”
Baloo trembled in rage, turned quite into jello,
And dragged the boy to their bungalow

There he dunked him into a hot bubble bath
(it was either that, or make up line with ‘math’)
Then it came, like David versus Goliath,
And Baloo scrubbed, like a psychopath

Finally, forward, the sparkling towhead was led,
Super shiny and clean; quite the figurehead
And the telepathic sow in snarky his mind read—
“I hope to God this poem was proofread!”

Epilogue:
Later that day, the sow heard a thought, the legends say,
“... and that’s the end of my hair problems! Now, can we please go play?”

(with apologies to Mr Kipling)

Part II (revisited)

Part II (revisited)

The curtains are drawn across the stage
Lights fade out slowly
Till total darkness prevails

ZAP! strobe lights and kettle-drums:
Actors riot across the stage!
Radiant–even through the darkened screen

Drama unfolds before unblinking eyes
Shielded by the pouring rain

The sky–a chameleon:
Red, Orange, Black,
Interspersed by violent white.

The darkness looms, occasionally,
Lights soon return, and zigzagging paths
Mark the stairway to heaven.

Lights go off, come on again...
The darkness has not a chance.

I turn off my night light
Staring through a shut window
At Ma Nature's spectacular display

Act one is over, the curtain reopens
The stars come out, their time for hiding has past.
It's the clouds, this time-

The wind appears - a major player,
The earth heaves a sigh of dry relief

Black turns to grey, and grey to white
But not for long, the show must go on
So the curtains will be drawn,

The spotlight will come on,
Act Two will follow, And three...
And four... And five...

I hate not getting my way. Even if "my way" changes every few days.

I wait all week for the one hour of jazz that drips out of the radio, and end up spending just that one hour getting the blues... bleh!

Green-Red Dubiousness with toasted walnuts

Ingredients:
Red spinach  (conveniently called Amaranthus Dubius)
Green Papaya
Garlic
Cumin, aka jeera, powder
Jalapeno sauce
Pepper
Salt
Oil (1/2 teaspoon)
juice of half a lemon*

1. Peel and chop the papaya. Keep aside.
2. Wash and chop the spinach. Dump in food processor/mixie.
3. Peel garlic (I personally like using enough to keep your garden variety vampires away) and roast on skillet on a low flame.
4. Once the kitchen starts smelling inhospitable to vampires, dump garlic into food processor/mixie.
5. Add the papaya into said food processor/mixie. Grind the mix to a pulp.
6. Toss a few walnuts onto the skillet, roast, put on a plate to cool and forget about them till I mention them again.
7. Drizzle the oil onto the skillet and wait till it warms up. Do not put finger in to test if the oil is hot.
8. Add the pulpy mess to the skillet and push it around like a toddler who doesn't like food.
9. Add salt, pepper, jalapeno sauce and jeera/cumin powder to taste.
10. Continue toddleresque pushing around and wait till it looks cooked. Then transfer to serving dish (my plate in my case)
11. Remember where you put the walnuts. Now crumble them, and get rid of the skin.
12. Scatter the walnuts onto the veggie mess thingy and enjoy.

* Add as an afterthought if the Green-Red Dubiousness doesn't work for you. Lemon makes everything more palatable.**

** Unless you put too much of it, of course.

Why you've got to love Sir Terry

Nanny sat down in the corner of the cell.

'I heard this story once,' she said, 'where this bloke got locked up for years and years and he learned amazin' stuff about the universe and everythin' from another prisoner who was incredibly clever, and then he escaped and got his revenge.'

'What incredibly clever stuff do you know about the universe, Gytha Ogg?' said Granny.

'Bugger all,' said Nanny cheerfully.

'Then we'd better bloody well escape right now.'

— from Witches Abroad

Vlad from Carpe Jugulum is a young(ish) vampire who falls in love with a girl because she's different—he can't read her mind. Ok, Agnes Nitt is a witch who's always in two minds about everything, but why does this storyline sound familiar? Maybe Twilight started out as Terry Pratchett fanfiction? Or, maybe the Magpyrs caught Ms Meyer's subconscious fancy at some point, and sat there till they became the Cullens?

Of course, I could maybe be over-reacting just a little to an innocent coincidence... but I don't think so.

What makes a man

Iron enough to make a nail
Lime enough to paint a wall
Water enough to drown a dog
Sulphur enough to stop the fleas
Potash enough to wash a shirt
Gold enough to buy a bean
Silver enough to coat a pin
Lead enough to blast a bird
Phosphor enough to light the town
Strength enough to build a home
Time enough to hold a child
Love enough to break a heart

From Terry Pratchett's Wintersmith

Note: I do not own this. But I do enjoy it.

PS: If you need more reasons to read Wintersmith, they're here.

Life's like a yo-yo. Up one minute, down another. And yesterday was a downer like I haven't seen in a long time. Suddenly nothing seemed to make sense. I had more complaints than I've had in a long time. Family, friends, work, the weather, the website for my cellphone service provider, the radio... nothing seemed to be going right. So i went to sleep. more or less.

Cut to this evening. Saw a friend's post on friends and friendship, and realised how great my life's really been. (The yo-yo's loaded, and generally tends to be up more often than down... even if the down still stinks.) So i called her to go "aww", and found out the reason behind her recent flurry of blog posts. Ten minutes. That's all it took to make me feel silly about yesterday's self-indulgent moping. So thanks, Matty, and by extension, Akash, for giving a long-deserved kick up my rear and getting me out of my mental slump.

Watched Dark Shadows despite the bad reviews because I didn't believe them. Turns out they were right. Burton's tried to fit too much into two hours, which ended with me going "eh?" at the end of it.

Still, I enjoyed it, even with Helena Bonham Carter's skills being grossly underutilized.

Here are what I consider some of the high points.

1. Johnny Depp (I'd willingly watch him watch paint dry)
2. The sound track. (The Carpenters' Top of the World and Alice Cooper in one film? You've got my vote! Even if Alice Cooper is referred to as "an ugly woman")
3. Pretty funny dialog, (Gems include: "You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly!"; "Fifteen, and no husband? You must put those child-bearing hips to good use at once." ; "Every year I get half as pretty and twice as drunk." ; "Peace is the winner in any war" and "I'm a werewolf, deal with it."
4. The lack of a sparkly vampire. This one's from the old school. Sunlight makes him burst into flame, as does silver. Nice to see tradition being respected.
5. Ceramic witch with a hollow, glass heart :D
6. Christopher Lee.

In other news, yesterday made me realise why I hate retail chains... Spent three hours at one and came home with a bag. Yes, I could have left without getting anything, but I had gift coupons that were nearing expiration.

Dedicated to the few of u who may actually read till here :)

The stream of consciousness has turned into a torrent. There’s this overwhelming urge—one I haven’t had in a very long time—to write, even when I have nothing to say.

Dreams of punctuations. Are commas like scythes, or is that just confabulation? Em dashes make arrows in a forest of dreams, but workbooks lie waiting, patiently, to strike back at me at the end of the day. Wave upon wave, the words crash and tumble. I’m trying to focus, but all I feel are these things in my head trying to get out and party. Tiffany Aching in my head; wee free men on my mind. Terry Pratchett, how I hate you right now!

"They dreamed up conversation to stay where they were." Not quite sure why this (paraphrased) line stuck in my head, but it did, and I have this lover of all things mad to thank for lending me the book.

Nothing is more tiring than mindless tedium.

"Life is a horizontal fall." True that!

courtesy ninainvorm.punt