She sat staring at the blank screen, trying to herd the scattered thoughts, willing them to form words, if not whole sentences. Then again, when did her mind ever obey her? Not anytime recently... She'd sworn on all things she considered holy (mostly chai-sutta and sleep) that she'd write more on the "trip". At least she'd travelled, even if wasn't as much as she'd liked, and had her memories -- some fond, others, not so much.

Still, she wanted to write, even opened word documents and good old paper notebooks to begin. But that was the problem. That's all it took to drive out any semblence of thoughts from her head. In fact, she sometimes thought she could see them -- tiny little things -- flying, no, struggling to find a path, through her unruly curls.

She sighed and gave up. It was happening again. This time, she also had company. He'd tried to sneak up on her, but she could feel his presence. Migraines were attention-seekers of the worst kind!!!

More random thoughts from the road

The lights burn,
few and far apart,
Houses are built,
but a home needs a heart

What is, what was...

Reaching out for memories,
I sink into my mind, but find only pain
Curtains part, inside my head
Happy times lie hidden deep
Among life’s ruins,
Ravaged by the recent past
Death comes, also to those who seek it
I’m sure I did not see it coming
Didn’t you know there were other answers?
Is life better where you are now? Simpler?
Or, could it be,
That you regret a move you can’t undo?
Lobsters, no crabs, we chased and quartered
Only when I wasn’t chaperoning the two of you
But, you can’t hold that against me
Occasionally, that’s what big sisters do

Explanations unnecessary

He walked off a cliff... Just like that... one step, from solid groud to thin air... makes you wonder why? Was life so bad? They say he was depressed -- out of work, and out of love -- I can't help asking, so what? Maybe I'm rude or just plain dumb... but I cannot understand why a 25-year-old would do something like that... I certainly wouldn't... at least i don't think so...
And it wasn't an act of momentary madness... It was too well planned... subtle clues left strewn around... that made sense only after it was too late... Still, I'll insist it was madness... a waste of a good thing... a demented good thing, but a good thing, nevertheless...
So, no matter how sad it makes me feel I cannot understand, or sympathise with, what he did... Still, It was his decision to make and his alone... Maybe it made sense to him... at least to him...

Ps. We're gonna miss you... for all your craziness...

What's tea, without a किटली?
Staying away from home can give you a strange perspective on what you think is important. Before heading out, you may have felt you'd really truly miss your friends or your family. Funnily enough, three weeks on the road have showed me the one thing I'm truly missing, so far, is the kitli. not any one in particular, but the symbolic kitli — somewhere you can sit watching the world go by... Somewhere you're never alone for long, where friendships are often born, and where many others grow.. most of all, where you can hang out for as long as you want without paying more than you absolutely need to, for चाय-सुट्टा...
I've stopped in at Mumbai, Goa and Bangalore before hitting Chennai, but the kitli seems to be a geography-specific creature.
A little thought offers a possible explanation... No one has the time to leave their seats/offices to hang out at Mumbai... For Goa, how many people want to sit at a kitli when they are surrounded by a dozen beaches? and Bangalore... apart from being at the heart of the காபி culture, the city also has institutions such as Pecos, ensuring its beer culture as well... aah... need i say more?
So far, Chennai has the closest thing to a kitli culture. Except that for whatever reason — cultural, I'm presuming — people don't seem to like to sit on the roadside to enjoy that cuppa... of course, coffee is probably more common here, but I'm sure I'm not the only one calling for a "chaya" in the middle of the afternoon...
Just thought of another reason for the absence of a kitli culture in Chennai.. Space.. or the lack thereof, rather.
While back home, kitlis seem to spring up at any ol' corner, the truly popular ones stand by themselves... whether Rambhai at IIM, Pandeyji at the SAL kitli or Rajubhai and kaka-kaki around Iskcon circle, they have a ton of sitting-around space... (apart from having very distinct addresses) Chennai's tea stalls, or 'Nair-கடை', as many are called, seem to be set among a tight cluster of equally tiny shops... and funnily enough, quite often near a TASMAC shop...
Which brings me back to my Bangalore observation.. None of the places I've been to recently prohibits alcohol. Which is possibly one of the biggest reasons for the lack of a 'किटली culture'. Or maybe people there just have more interesting things to do with their lives...