Sunday, July 20, 2008

How to improve India’s performance at the Olympics

1. Include events such as gulli-danda, marbles, bullock-cart racing and belching

2. Disallow participation from countries which have won a total of five medals in any of the previous Olympic games

3. Allow the use of artificial stimulants (especially for the livestock in the bullock-cart races, that too, only for Indian participants)

4. Discontinue events such as all athletics, swimming, gymnastics, water polo, hockey and basketball, in which India has no hope of winning

5. Appoint politicians to the organising committee, to make fixing events easier

6. Put India into a pool comprising, India, Mozambique, Eithiopia, Afghanistan and Nepal, with the other pool consisting of just India

(This is the short version.. pl feel free to add ur own suggestions in the comments section)


arvindiyer said...

As a true sports enthusiast and a patriot.. well we should have cricket in the olympics.

We could just ban australia and the US from all sports. I mean who needs them!!!

Zeph Keyes said...

If I'd been convinced India could win at cricket, (I'm not counting t-20), I'd have included it:) It actually was on the original list, but got knocked off on the basis of the recent past...

arvindiyer said...

Cricket is a game that has its good days and bad days and that too with the best of teams. And no matter how good the team plays, we want more, and if they play bad, we want more of their throat:)