Thursday, August 24, 2006

What it means to be Anglo...
(and how to check if u are one)


Okay
, so someone sent me this as a forward, but hey, it makes sense, at least to me, (i think)


Here goes...

Your Aunties and Uncles get REALLY offended if you don't greet them with a 'Mornin', 'G'Afnoon', or 'D'Evenin'

You have a fight or watch a fight on: a) Christmas Dance b) New Years Dance c) A wedding

You say we are White Washing the house for Christmas!!

You think the hottest Anglo tailor is 'Gani' and he left you waiting and hoping on Christmas Eve!

On Christmas you wore a 'coat & skirt' made from 'Garden silk' and patent leather 'coat shoes'!

You walked in late to church and walked out early after communion.

You and your family go to Mass with everyone wearing the same material, Father and Son have the same material shirt, mom and sis have the same material skirts, and when you go back home the same material is used for your curtains and the sofa covers.

You didn't own a tie and a suit but still wore one at the Christmas dance...

Your mama prays to all the saints and every single version of Mother Mary ever known to human kind...

You ran into one of the stalwarts of main road and they went "what macha - long time no see" or "Cousin got any change da, never ate from morning macha" you give them something and they are off...full swing, smile on their face to the grog shop.

You still use words like "grog"

You and 5 other friends pooled in about 10 rupees each to buy a quarter bottle of booze

You walk into a dance with a quarter bottle bulging in your suit pocket

You went to an Anglo dance, and your band, when testing the sound system, spent 30 minutes of 1-2, mike testing, 1-2, mike testing, 1-2, mike testing, 1-2... (you get the picture)

Of all the dances in the world, you know what "Tiger dance" is!

At Anglo weddings, nana says to pass more wedding cake so she can put some in her bag to take 'ome.

You have witnessed the following - Aunty Dolly is laid out and between prayers Uncle Willie wails "How you can leave and go without telling one word chile".

By virtue of growing up around Tamilians, you think it's absolutely "OKAY" to dance in front of a dead body!

You say "Don't get a Kottu from me!!!!!!!"

You say DONO (Don't Know)

You got the "FIJACKS" atleast once in your life. (got the frights/were moody)

All the underwear in your family are called "Jocks", "Jungies" and "Flyingfoxes".

You know exactly what species of ants "bully ants" is.

Your Sunday was longer than your Monday.

You ate "kanjee water & rice" when times were hard!

You have pepperwater, rice and pepper fry for lunch on Saturdays

You have coconut rice, ball curry and devil chutney for lunch on special days.

If Ginger wine and Kul Kuls are a 'must have' at Christmas time.

You are convinced that everyone else in India is a bloody pye dog , Pariah Bugger or Wog.

You refer to every guy as "bugger" in a conversation.

You buy Jow and Bones along with the meat.

You use the phrase How mad nah!!! and if u use "blimming and blinking" in every other sentence (still don't know
what they mean - as swear words)

You use the phrase "thatny" - for that only

You respond with a "Namind (never mind)Child"

You willingly go to the market to make some extra pais (paise).

You smoke half a buggie (beedi) or fag (cigarette) now and keep the other half for after lunch.

You asked your mum where something was that you misplaced and she answers. "On my head"

You walked in your short pants and T-shirt to the natta shop down the road or drove around on your bike to your friend's place like that.

You know what a natta shop is.

You're at British or Lala's and thinking "look at these pies how they 'beep' up the place".

You've been for one of the dances organised by Passange.

Your mama told you, "I'll slipper you, mind!"

If I said 'Who' and you replied Mother Boo!

You know the answer to the riddle "Where was Moses when the lights went out?"

You played "Miss Mary Mac", "Ice-cream soda" and "who stole the cookie from the cookie pot" during school
breaks

You've sung "Ging gang gooly..." at Sunday school or wherever!

You played Ringa Ringa Roses, Ringing the duck, Dog Shots, Musical chairs, n sung Hotel California more than
a dozen times.

You sing "She'll be coming down the mountain..." to & from a picnic.......

You stuck a pin in the bottom of your rubber slipper strap to save yourself from buying a new strap.

You think 'She wears my ring' and 'Put your sweet lips a little closer to the phone' are still the two hottest songs
in the world.

Somebody calls you "dorai" or "missi amma"

You're working in a call center even though you haven't finished your 10th std

You often refer to yourself as an "Angloinyin"
------------


and o,
"Where was Moses when the lights went out?"
"In the dark".. hey.. don shoot the messenger!!
---------------------------

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

ookkkiieee.. tht was an eye-opener!! wher did all tht pour frm :-)

Zeph Keyes said...

Fwd ma;)

sajib ahmed said...

Thanks for sharing such kind of nice and wonderful collection......Nice post Dude keep it up.
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